


The Things I say To You When You're Not Here

by LydiaWrenWolfram



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Gen, Internal Monologue, Mark of Cain, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 09:12:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1381969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LydiaWrenWolfram/pseuds/LydiaWrenWolfram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam thinks about he and Dean's recent falling out while Dean sleeps...feels and angst ensue....</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things I say To You When You're Not Here

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own, if I did they'd have made up.

Dammit Dean. What are you doing? I don't think I've seen you this reckless in....well ever. Yeah, I said some harsh things to you, I said it was either work or us...I shouldn't have...ok? I'm not sure how to say that to you because right now...you wouldn't listen. You arent listening, not even to yourself.... You told me to go on a hunt by my *self* without any interest in it....

 

This mark scares me Dean...its turning you into something thats not you...I would venture to say its worse then the demon blood...and yeah, I can say that, seeing as I am the one that was addicted to it. Is it my fault, Dean? Because I said I didnt want to be brothers? Is that....is that why you took the mark and throwing yourself into the hunt for Abbaddon?

Why am I asking? It is my fault. Always is, always has been....I know you said last summer I don't fail or disapoint you but I do....And I have again. No I didn't *do* anything evil this time, but I broke your heart. And it breaks mine more then I show...

I remember once, a long time ago I said I would do anything for you because you're my brother....it still stands. When I said its either work or us....I said that out of just plain too much....too much possession, too much death, too much hunting, too many monsters, too much pain...I can only take so much, I'm not as strong as you, Dean, I never have been, you can just take and take an take....I thought maybe you'd understand what I meant behind the words I said...I forget that I loose even my self on those trails I follow in my mind. Jess used to say I could outthink even myself....

I'm watching you sleep right now...you passed out about an hour ago after a couple bottles of whiskey, you'll never know that I made you comfortable, or that the reason there will be coffee when you wake up is because I do give a fuck about you. I should tell you....but I'm afraid of you rejecting me back...so I"ll just keep it quiet and take care of you quietly, watching you sleep while I research everything I can about the mark...without you knowing of course...because if you know....things will just get worse....

I love you Dean. I'm not letting you go. No matter what words come out of my mouth.


End file.
